Patty Cake
by Mickie101
Summary: Dick glared at Wally. "I HATE YOU!" he yelled. Then Barry came in and smacked Wally to the ground. "YOU ARE IN FACT, AN IT!" "NO," Wally cried out. He looked at them, his green eyes sparkling with tears. Then came Bruce. Oh god. It was going down.


**Hey guys! This story is based off of a little tidbit by ChuChuMarshmallow and the movie Who Framed Roger Rabbit? It's really absurd. Enjoy! Don't forget to review. **

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Wally's head hurt... a lot. Sunlight interrupted his blissful sleep. He turned over and buried his head into hair. Long, soft, dark hair. Dark hair? Wally opened his eyes now fully awake. A girl was in his bed and he was recovered enough from his drunkenness to realize it was not Arty. He sped out of bed. Shaking his head furiously. Not only was it not Artemis, but it was her best friend, Zatanna. Wally was prepared to bolt out of the door when someone burst in.  
"Hey, Baywatch. I brought you a souve-" Artemis started. She looked at him, then at the bed, then at him again. Her mouth froze mid word.  
Zatanna chose that lovely opportunity to wake up.  
"What a wild night, huh Wally?" She said, rubbing her eyes. "We'd played so much patty cake."  
"Babe," Wally started.  
"No," Artemis stopped him in his tracks. She threw the present on the ground and hurled a dagger at him. He dodged it. She knew he would, but it wasn't about that.  
Wally tried to chase after Artemis, but the guys were right outside. Great, just what he needed Kaldur, Connor, Dick, Roy, and the Bat to see the biggest mistake of his life.  
"So did you like the souvenir? We nabbed it off of Mr. Freeze," Dick said. He took one look at Wally's hands which were bright red from a long game of Patty Cake. "You dog!"  
"I knew you were quick, West, but this is an all new record. I mean, Artemis was in there for literally two seconds," Roy voiced.  
"Yeah," Wally said, feebly. Dick pushed past him to see the aftermath. Wally tried to stop him, but the kid was persistent. Dick's fists clenched in rage.  
"I called dibs," Dick said. His voice simmered at a dangerously low level. As sexist as this sounded, it wasn't. Dick really liked Zatanna. This was betrayal and Dick would get his vengeance.  
"Dude, I was drunk. I wouldn't have if I wasn't so blasted," Wally spouted off.  
Dick glared at Wally. "I HATE YOU!" he yelled. He stormed off.  
The other guys clambered in to see what had caused Dick to snap. Zatanna kissed Wally on the cheek before walking out of the room. Her hands were just as red as Wally's.  
Kaldur took one look and shook his head.  
Connor sniffed and walked away.  
Roy also glared at Wally. "YOUR PENIS IS SMALL!" he yelled. He was prepared to take Wally down. Artemis was a sister to him. As her brother, it was his duty to protect his sister from pigs like this. When he had found out the two were dating, he had pulled Wally aside and told him that were he to ever even think about hurting Artemis, he would chop of his penis. Roy advanced at him with a long knife.  
"NOOOOO," Wally cried out. He looked at them, his green eyes sparkling with tears. He hadn't meant it. He was drunk, so incredibly drunk.  
Then came Bruce.  
Oh god.  
It was going down.  
Everyone knew that Zatanna was off limits ever since her dad was possessed by Doctor Fate.  
Wally found himself flipped on his stomach on a mat and he could feel Bruce hover over him, one leg raised in the air as if he were a dog taking a piss. Only, Bruce wasn't taking a piss. He was taking Wally down.  
"Stop," a voice said. It was music to her ears. Could it be? Had Artemis come back to him? He craned his neck to see. It was her.  
"This is my fight. I will choose how Wally will be punished. And he will be punished," Artemis warned.  
"Arty, I'm sorry. Please. I was drunk," he apologized, hoping that she wouldn't laugh in his face.  
"I believe you," She replied. Wally sighed. "Dick come back over here."  
Wally was about to say that he had left when Dick appeared. That never got old.  
Artemis took Dick's hands within her own. She slid them away, clapped, and slapped them against Dick's.  
"Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker's man.  
Bake me a cake as fast as you can;  
Roll it, Pat it and mark it with B,  
Put it in the oven for baby and me," they said in unison, while staring directly at Wally.  
"Who's next?" Artemis asked.  
She grabbed Kaldur and Roy.  
"Arty-"  
"I'm sorry, babe. I'm just so incredibly smashed right now." She took Kaldur and Roy's hands and began to play patty cake. Wally felt his heart break in two. She pushed them away. Then ran at Wally. She was faster than Wally had ever seen her. She punched Wally repeatedly on the chest. It hurt, but Wally beared the pain.  
"Screw you, Wally. Screw you! Patty cake was our thing!" She kept punching him. He knew he deserved it. When she finished, she kicked him where it hurt most. "Don't think this is over. You have to feel pain. I want you to hurt like hell. Now excuse me while I go buy some ice cream and listen to my friends telling me how much of a douchebag you are."  
She sashayed away, her head held high. All Dick and the others could do was watch.  
"Damn," someone said.  
He opened the present that Artemis had thrown on the ground. It was a cake marked with a B for Baywatch.  
Damn was right.


End file.
